One Man's Junk is Another Mans Treasure

Leafing through all of today's mail, I received the following love letters:

TruGreen Chem Lawn. Spring Treatment for just $29.95, plus a free lawn analysis. My lawn means more.
Mental Translation: Green Paint. Chemicals will leach into soils and kill fish.

The Easton Press. Today more than ever we need to understand other great world cultures. The Insightful reference is your key.
Mental Translation: I thought I was already getting "the 100 greatest books ever written."

National Wildlife Federation. Your FREE bear club notepad and adress labels are enclosed! Claim your FREE Khaki backpack.
Mental Translation: Will enjoy the notepad, and will add the address labels to the pile that grows faster than can be used; but just because I claim to be a sport fisherman doesn't mean I necessarily want to save all wildlife.

MetroArts Inc. Young Artists Debut! Concerto Concert. A gala concert spotlighting the eight outstanding winners of the 12th Annual Young Artists Concerto competition accompanied by members of the Oregon Symphony and Oregon Ballet Theatre orchestras.
Mental Translation: No thoughts; may pass this on to others.

NFPA Codes Plus. Do jobs right the first time....you may not get a seconds chance! NFPA 70E and handbook set. Prevent costly electrical accidents before they happen!
Mental Translation: Jeezus, just because I ordered the Fire Protection Handbook, does not make me interested in the National Electric Code.....I'm a Mechanical Engineer doofus's.

This concludes our trip through the ritual review of typical (and mostly only) mail I receive.


Sunset, Sunset Beach, North Shore Oahu, Hawai'i, July 2005, by LHD